Learning 2 Live Again - in spite of grief
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It's a Shame When It's a Sham

11/28/2013

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There are predators out there in the big bad world, who like to prey on those of us who are on a grief expedition. They know how desperate we are to 'connect' with our loved ones who have passed over. They know we would do anything to bring them back, so being able to hear what they have to say, even if it's through someone else, is priceless and immeasurable.
I know, because I have been there. I have been told by various psychics on many occasions what Butch has to say to me. Its funny how, for the most part, what he has to say coincides with the agenda of the person telling me. This can range from allowing them to usurp my power or feeling as if I had no choices, to wanting to extort money from me, all in the name of connecting me with my loved ones on the other side.
When I finally realised what was happening, I felt like such a fool. Hindsight can be such a bitch. As I look back, I can see that I fell for every hook they threw my way. I wanted to believe so much that I made things fit where they had absolutely no way of fitting. I thought I was the only one who had been hoodwinked. I was wrong.
I guess I felt it a little more keenly because I am a psychic. Unfortunately I can't 'do' a reading for me. I can't 'see' my spirit family in the same way I can see other people's, because I know too much about me and about them. There is no validation, because my skeptic says to me 'Hah! But you already knew thats what they looked like or what they would have said. They were a part of your life for so long!
However, when I read for someone else, its different. It's cut and dried. It fits or it doesn't. I have no idea who the person is or what the connection is. I love it when the reading resonates. I may not sugar coat it, but every word I pass on is given with love, respect and integrity.
Lately I have heard of others who have been through the same kind of experience I did in my early days. They too have been desperate enough to 'hear' what their loved ones have to say, that they have paid ludicrous amounts of money. They have been given negative, false and evil advice from their family in spirit. They have been told that unless they do, their loved one will cease to 'talk' to them. WTF?!
If we allow these people to get away with this sort of shit, we are no better than they are. I wonder if I had written a 'tell all' blog about my experience whether I could have saved other people from heartache. Maybe. Maybe not....
Our loved ones will never say bad stuff. They will not tell you negative and mean things. They don't need to. All that negative shit is a part of a human existence, not a spiritual one. All regrets, guilt, pain, suffering, anger, revenge, etc is gone. It dies with the physical form. From where they are its just love and they want us to know we are loved, that they will be there waiting for us when its time for us to 'go home'.
Before you spend copious amounts of money, ask yourself: 'Would my loved one want or expect me to pay this much to hear from them?' And if you think the answer is yes, ask yourself why it is that you believe that more money means that the psychic is more powerful or better able to connect. There are plenty of wonderful and amazing psychics out there, and they don't all need to empty your bank account to pass on messages of love and support from our loved ones.
And if you are told something bad, negative or evil, ask yourself: 'Would my loved one really say that?' ...and know the answer is 'NO!'
Take note of my experience and others. Trust your instincts. Watch out for Grief Vultures. ...and if you do fall for a smooth talking psychic, don't feel bad or sad. You won't be the first. You won't be the last...but hey, that could be the 'last' time you fell for it! Grief is a huge learning curve in so many many ways.
Be strong. Trust you. Show discernment. Remember that your loved ones are not interested in making or keeping you poor, sad, scared or unhappy in any way. They love you. More than you will ever know!
Big Hugs
Cherie xx

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Stress Anniversary Conflict

8/18/2012

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I've been really sick this week. What started out as a virus became quite severe and I was laid up in bed for three days. I rarely get sick, and to lie around when I am is not usually something I do willingly.
It began as I did the final proofread of my book on grief (Grieving With Honour). I started coughing, and the more I read, the more incessant my cough became.
Day two was particularly bad and I lay there, just wanting it all to be over. I'd had enough of the pain both within and without my body.
I asked my friend Karen for some distant healing and she told me that what was going on with me was to do with my gief book.
In the early hours of Friday morning, I was shown, in a dream, one of the chapters of my book. I awoke, knowing my body was rememberinga moment in time four years ago.
The anniversary of Butch's passing is in September, which brings in all sorts of emotions and feelings. However, on a cellular level, my body remembers the day Butch told me he didn't want to fight to live anymore, that he was ready to 'go'.
A piece of me died that day, as I realised he was preparing to die.
Each year, around the same dat, I receive an anniversary reminder from my body.
The first year, I had huge acid burns and blisters appear on my body. Tears I cried were also acidic and burnt trails down my face.
The second year I developed a rash that burned like acid and also blistered my skin. I just wanted to peel all my skin off to get some relief.
Last year I got really sick with a combination of acid rash and chest pains, similar to a panic attack.
There were other symptoms as well, like a deep-seated pain in my kidneys, constriction in my chest and stomach cramps each anniversary.
Each one has peaked on the same date and resulted in me wanting to be 'put out of my misery' and asking my guides to please 'take me home'! And each one has begun to dissipate each time I realise what it is and acknowledge my cellular as well as my emotional grief. (it's just a shame I don't 'get' what is happening until after the peak!)
It's important we are in tune with our bodies, that we listen to the messages it has for us. When we feel fear in our kidneys, grief in our lungs, anxiety in our stomach, a sore throat as we swallow words we feel we cannot say or sore ears when we are being told what we don't want to hear, we need to acknowledge and accept these as times when our bodies are saying 'Remember when...?' or 'Enough! It's time to take action!'
There are many events in our life that our cells remember, and we need to notice if what we are felling is a 'present' issue or a gentle reminder!
love Cherie xx

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Just when I think....

7/5/2011

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You know, there are times when I feel I have reached that point - the point when you accept that life has changed and will never go back to the way it was.  Its at these times I feel as if I'm moving forward, that I am starting to live again, rebuilding myself and well, taking it all in stride.....
Last Friday was one of those days, I was sitting in my lounge listening to uplifting music (in other words loud!) and the words seemed to reach out to me. .(dontcha just hate that?)  It was a song about lost love and not being able to go back to change what had happened.  In other words it was a pretty common theme, hey?
I realised, as the tears flowed down my face, that I really wasn't accepting at all, once again I was pretending and worse still, I was trying to hide it from myself (other people don't count, they are so easy to fool, they don't know me as well as I do). 
I still can't believe I will never see Butch, I will never hear his voice or feel his touch. As much as I accept he is gone and won't be back, there is a little part of me that dies inside whenever I contemplate the truth of that acceptance.
I wonder sometimes if I will ever really feel whole again.  Will there be days without tears? I don't want to stop thinking or grieving for Butch, I just want the pain of my grief to go away!  I especially want to remember the good times instead of his gradual and inevitable demise.  We were together 25 wonderful years, why does my brain only want to focus on his last few years? 
I really have no answers, I just have to keep taking my baby steps and hope that one day I will be able to look at a photo fo Butch, love him and miss him, but not feel the knife of grief twisting in the core of my soul....
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Funny that...

6/10/2011

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I was out shopping today and if I were to be honest, this has been a tough week for me, so a little retail therapy sounded like the cure....
I don't know what everyone else's beliefs are, but I believe when our loved ones pass they don't really leave us.  I admit this thought doesn't alleviate my pain, help me sleep better or stop me sobbing into my pillow late at night. (If you just tuned in and think that I sound pathetic, you're probably right, if that is your perception.  Me, I think I am just a sensitive, complex and lost individual without a physical version of Butch around me!  No point in hanging around waiting, there won't be any excuses forthcoming from my keyboard.  I am what I am)
Now where was I? Oh yeah, There I was in my favourite shop (that's any shop that has 'book' in the name), looking at the New Age books and cards, when I realised I had been singing along to the mood music they were playing.  As I listened to the words I had to smile at the synchronicity of the words and I just knew there was a message in it for me.....
Here are the words, and if you want to share a smile you may want to look at the original version on youtube! (at the bottom of this blog)
I guess there are a lot of words I felt were really relative to my week. Butch was the mirror of my soul. I don't want to forget, I want to try and go on living right now and leave the black hole that is my grief behind.  This doesn't mean I want to stop grieving for him or forget him, I just want to remember the love, laughter, tears, fun and joy istead of the loss, pain, sadness, despair and fear.  Can you relate to that?

Don't Forget to Remember
 
Oh my heart won’t believe that you have left me I keep telling my self that it’s true
I can get over anything you want my love But I can’t get myself over you

Don’t forget to remember me and the love that used to be I still remember you - I love you
In  my heart lies a memory to tell the stars above. Don’t forget to remember me my love

On my wall lies a photograph of you girl (guy) though I try to forget you somehow
You’re the mirror of my soul so take me out of my hole. Let me try to go on living right now

Don’t forget to remember me and the love that used to be. I still remember you - I love you
In my heart lies a memory to tell the stars above. Don’t forget to remember me my love 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp_24KHvb0E&feature=fvwrel
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