During my grieving journey I have been told on countless occasions I shouldn't wear black all the time. In the beginning I wore black as a symbol of my grief and to show how dark and lonely my life was - even if this wasn't intentional.
As time passed, I wore black because it gave me comfort and later I preferred it as it made me feel invisible, which to some degree I felt I was. Some days it felt as if everyone had got on with their lives and Butch was 'yesterdays news'.
There are many reasons for preferring the darker clothes in your wardrobe, some of them are rational and others aren't, like me believing I was invisible.
By wearing black I was saying 'I don't want to get on with my life, in fact, I want out!' Wanting out is a normal part of the grieving process, but eventually you will want to be 'in' the life you own.
It is important to gradually incorporate colour into your life, in part because it symbolises the emergence of you into life again. It is a known fact that black is a depressing colour, but not everyone realises by wearing black you are reinforcing your depression. Take a look around you and look at the people who wear black as a uniform. Are they happy, cheerful souls who are living a life that resonates, or are they sad, miserable personality types who believe life has nothing to offer them?
I'm not saying you should outlaw black attire at all. What I am pointing out to you is that you already know you are sad and lost, but you don't have to live as if you are.
I've always believed in the power the mind has over the body, so if you are dressing in a manner that helps you to remain stuck in your grieving space/depression, it will be difficult to rise above it.
It hasn't been easy to incorporate bright happy colours in my life, when I am feeling so darned miserable without Butch, but I know he wouldn't want me to wear a depression shroud for the rest of my life, he would want me to make the most of my time here. Isn't that what your friend/loved one would want for you?
As time passed, I wore black because it gave me comfort and later I preferred it as it made me feel invisible, which to some degree I felt I was. Some days it felt as if everyone had got on with their lives and Butch was 'yesterdays news'.
There are many reasons for preferring the darker clothes in your wardrobe, some of them are rational and others aren't, like me believing I was invisible.
By wearing black I was saying 'I don't want to get on with my life, in fact, I want out!' Wanting out is a normal part of the grieving process, but eventually you will want to be 'in' the life you own.
It is important to gradually incorporate colour into your life, in part because it symbolises the emergence of you into life again. It is a known fact that black is a depressing colour, but not everyone realises by wearing black you are reinforcing your depression. Take a look around you and look at the people who wear black as a uniform. Are they happy, cheerful souls who are living a life that resonates, or are they sad, miserable personality types who believe life has nothing to offer them?
I'm not saying you should outlaw black attire at all. What I am pointing out to you is that you already know you are sad and lost, but you don't have to live as if you are.
I've always believed in the power the mind has over the body, so if you are dressing in a manner that helps you to remain stuck in your grieving space/depression, it will be difficult to rise above it.
It hasn't been easy to incorporate bright happy colours in my life, when I am feeling so darned miserable without Butch, but I know he wouldn't want me to wear a depression shroud for the rest of my life, he would want me to make the most of my time here. Isn't that what your friend/loved one would want for you?
RSS Feed